SAHMs, WAHMs and DAMNs

I was the one who never wanted kids. I was going to be a rich loving Aunt to all my nieces and nephews, loving and spoiling them until I or they went home. I sure as heck was NOT going to have four kids! Yet here I am with three teenagers and a 3 year old to chase, not rich and certainly trying not to spoil any of mine, let alone the nieces and nephew. Sure, I love them all, mine especially (of course!), but it certainly doesn't jibe with my original plans.

Sometimes I think the guy upstairs has a really dry sense of humor. I mean here I am with three lovely daughters, almost finished with the elementary school years, getting accustomed to the trials and changes of dealing with junior high and teens and finally seeing the chance to flap my rarely used wings and fly back into adult life. Then BOOM! The holiday flu bug wasn't a flu. The doctor ran the test twice, so no mistakes there. My age isn't what the medical profession prefers, so it's lots of tests and then seven months of bedrest. Are they kidding? Bedrest? HAH! Sure doc, you try running a household and keeping track of over-involved kids while laying upon the couch. I enjoy working but that doesn't fit either. I got rid of all the baby stuff years ago when I was told I wouldn't be having more. Then to start all over? Right, uh-huh, sure.

The women at my hometown church didn't help. "Oh, just like your Grandma!" "Same age as your Grandmother?", etc. Damn, it's been 50 years and my poor grandma still hasn't lived it down! No sympathy there. (My uncle was a surprise also, with an 18 yr.-old sister and 13 years between him and my Dad who was the baby till then) Not much sympathy anywhere else, either, since so many women are now having their first kids late.

Luckily the plethora of tests also reveals that we are having a healthy SON. Oh boy, a boy! The only one in my hubby's side, someone to carry on the name (how paternalistic). A boy cousin with which the nephew can play. A contemporary for the younger nieces. A major blow to our little family status quo. Who do we shift bedroom wise? What about the space a baby takes (a lot!)? Daughters as unpaid babysitters? HORRORS! Not to mention the financial aspects of the situation. Doctors and Diapers and Daycare oh my.

After being out of work for most of the pregnancy little Junior decided to come three weeks early. Borderline premature, extra hospital time, two weeks of daily visits to the hospital for bloodwork and treatments, then emergency surgery for a stomach problem on the tiny little month old baby. Now there's not a daycare who will take him for the next year without wanting a second mortgage, and I'm stuck at home even longer. DAMN!

So I became a SAHM, otherwise known as a Stay-At-Home-Mom. Quickly I became subsumed by the minutiae of my childrens' lives. She was mean to you? He talked to you--Does he "like" you? The baby rolled over! Next thing I knew I was involved in a mother's group, helping with all the things I never had time for previously, and driving a minivan full of teenagers around every day after school or whatever. (Mom, can she/he/they have a ride?) My vocabulary changed, diminished, became more simplistic; I started to pick up slang and acronyms of a younger generation while again learning the children's TV show lineup. My daughters started offering advice on child-rearing ("You never let US do that!" "Shouldn't we feed him organic foods only?" "Don't feed him peas, he poops green!"). My husband rejoiced over the addition of more testosterone to the family balance, yet was gone more than ever working more hours to stem the rising tide of red in the family budget. And I was slowly losing my mind. I got involved in community activities and it slowed the steady brain decay, but did little for our finances. Daycare was still prohibitive, but I had to do something.

With college costs swiftly approaching and limited jobs for Moms in a University town I decided to become a WAHM or Work-At-Home-Mom. This way I could still contribute to the family coffers while juggling the needs of my children and getting some semblance of a life back for myself. But what?? Having chosen surfing the net over watching infomercials in the wee hours of the morn that babies seem to like I had been lurking around various forums, boards and websites devoted to those such as my self, looking for ideas. Having a home daycare isn't allowed in our neighborhood, clerical work is hard to find, and telephone work out of the question. I did a little mystery shopper work, but there isn't much in my area. Various free-lance jobs were always welcomed, but rare. I'm craft impaired so making fluffy cutesy or handy things was unlikely. I'm good at sales if I can believe in the product. I've already done Mary Kay, so that was NOT an option. But there are thousands of other companies out there! So I tried candles. The company had great concepts, but problems with consistency of product quality and communications, and seemed to think waiting two months for an order to be shipped was okay. My tolerance for BS has always been low, and that company and I parted ways. Damn, I had such hopes.

I've decided to go back to my roots for my next venture. I've been cooking and baking for more than 35 years, and have even baked professionally at a local restaurant. My sister-in-law does specialty cakes, and my cousin across the state has done baking for years. My reviews have always been good, my 4-H ribbons were blue, so why not? As my Mom says. "You may see prettier, but you won't taste better!" Thus is born Kaydee's Kitchen. No time? Let me do your holiday baking for you! Office party? I do coffeecakes, non-plastic muffins and a full assortment of nut breads and more! Pies of all sorts (especially pecan and cream pies), cookies of all kinds, and almost anything that comes out of the oven. I even make candy-- All the old-fashioned favorites like peanut brittle, fudge, mints, and chocolate barks just to start! I'll do baskets for gifts or social obligations with such yummies as my triple-chocolate-almond biscotti and baby turtle brownies. The only thing left to do is borrow my sister's KitchenAid stand mixer...